Saturday, 6 February 2010
Bickering with Metal Mickey
It's a whole 26 years on from 1984 when we were supposed to be flying around in space and eating pills for food (although we did have Sinclair C5s. They were a bit shit though, more like a wooden cart that had managed to somehow power itself without the horse. Not quite 2000 A Space Odyssey).
Still, to my mind, I'm pretty sure there's the technology out there to invent lots of new-fangled things but the brakes are pulled first. Take flying cars: What's the point in even getting to the prototype stage? Scientists are clever people (they have big foreheads to prove it). They know that humans are daft as arseholes. Why invent something where people are going to just bash into each other in the sky for fun? There aren't roads, cat's eyes or speed bumps up there. It'd be a lawless bloodbath. Scientists know that humans are great big kids waiting to happen. Some things just should never be invented in 1984, 2010 or 2069.
The same applies to household robots. Would you really want a Metal Mickey about the place? He'd just be bickering all day with Irene Handl.
I don't really want a wisecracking robot lording it over me, hands sarcastically on hips. Scientists know this too. They also know he'd be kicked to kingdom come by adolescents and slighted ex-army uncles.
I like my hob-top whistling kettle and I like to put the kettle on myself so please don't invent tea taps.